Whoa its been a bit since I last posted. This post is going to be about something that has been on my heart...not necessarily what I'm struggling with. Definatly on my mind in this day and age though.
We've been doing this study in our Ladies group at church. Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Its a great study so far. The part that has really hit me is the chapter about Lies Women Believe About Priorities. One lie stuck out, A Career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling then being a wife and a mother.
Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a wife and mother and know that that is what I am called to be. Sometimes however, in this world, I feel that I need to be more. Or people are like oh you just stay home huh. That bothers me. Then I start to think, well do I need to have a career?! My mind has gone back and forth and back and forth. Being over here, its been easy. Its hard to find a job thats worth the money, especially if you have kids, you will just make enough to pay a babysitter. I know that when we get back stateside in Feb..once we get settled and such, I will probably battle this monster again. I loved working in the hospital. I do miss it. Especially when my friend Holly comes over after she is done working...in her scrubs! Which I loved wearing! But after reading this lie. I have found a lot more peace in just being a wife and a mother.
Here are a few lines from this book:
..unintended consequences of this newfound freedom? Whoever expected we would have to live with such things as:
- pressure placed on women by their peers to "do more" than be "just a wife and mother"
- the status of a "homemaker" being devalued to something less then that of a serf
- millions of infants and toddlers being dropped off at day car centers before daylight and picked up after dark
- families that seldom sit down and have a regular meal together
- emotional and physical affairs being fanned by married women spending more quality time with men at work then they do with their own husbands
- women who don't have the time or energy to cultivate a close relationship with their children and who end up permanently estranged from their grown children
- children spending countless hours being entertained by videos, TV, video games, and computers
- inadequately supervised children becoming exposed to and luring into pornography, alcohol, drugs, sex, and violence
- elderly parents having to be put into institutions because their daughters and daughters in law are working full time and can't manage their care
Those are the ones that spoke to me and I know that not all those will effect all working moms.
Here's more:
In determining our priorities as Christian women, we must first ask: Why did God create women? What is His purpose and mission for our lives? The Word of God provides women of every generation and culture with the Truth about our created purpose and primary role and calling. When we embrace the Truth and establish our priorities and schedules around it, we experience true liberation.
In Genesis 2:18 we find the first and clearest statement of why God created women:
The Lord God said," It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a
helper suitable for him."
There you have it- God created the woman to be a helper to the man-to complete him, to be suited to his needs. She was made from man, made for man, and given as God's gift to the man.
The woman was uniquely designed and equipped-physiologically, emotionality, mentally, and spiritually-by her Creator to be a bearer and nurturer of life. In a mulitiude of ways, she was endowed with the ability to add life, beauty, richness, fullness, grace and joy to the family unit.
I really like how she put it in words to really understand. We are unique. I love that.
The Scripture is clear that a married woman's life and ministry are to be centered in her home. This is not to suggest that it is necessarily wrong for a wife and mother to have a job outside her home-unless that job in any way competes with or diminishes her effectiveness in fulfilling her primary calling at home. Further, it is important for a woman to evaluate their reason(s) for working outside their home and to identify any deception behind those reasons.
For example, it is widely assumed today that a family simply cannot make it without two incomes. It is true that one of the unfortunate by products of the feminist revolution is that our economy has become dependent on two-income families. However, that does not necessarily mean that families cannot survive on on income.
Here are some good things that come from a family that knows their calling. She mentions in her book that she has quite a few friends that have 5,6,7 or more kids and have only one income. She mentions its not easy and they might not have all the things this society dubs necessary today, but they have this:
- these families are content and have joy
- they have a better sense about values and the tings that really matter than do many two-income families
- they have learned how to pray and depend on God for everything from "daily bread" to college tuition
- they parents know where their children are and are able to monitor and direct their activities
- the parents and children have close, loving relationships with each other
- they are actively involved in serving others in practical ways that many families don't have time (or energy) to do when both parents are working outside the home.
She even has a quote from actress Katherine Hepburn:
I'm not sure any woman can successfully pursue a career and be a mother at the same time. The trouble with women today is that they want everything. But no one can have it all.
I thought that was interesting.
I love staying home with B. Yes there are days which I wish I could be gone all day and someone else can be with her. Then I get to thinking about it and its not worth it. If I HAD to work, someone else, in a daycare somewhere, would be raising my child. Thats my number one. God gave her to us to raise for Him. Not for a daycare to raise. I love being home when Nick gets home (especially in the Military life when the schedule can be one time this day and a total different time the next, if I worked, who knows when we'd see each other!)
OK thats all I have. I hope I didn't stir up too much. I know this is a topic that some think is hard. I just felt like blogging my thoughts on it so one day I can look back and see them and hope my sight has not been hindered.
